When age takes grasp over your young body, it erases fond old memories of acquaintances made and lost, it makes you forget all the good things you did in your life and, more frightfully, it makes you forget all the bad. You are left in a forgotten world of your meager thoughts, where only God has kept accounts of all things. You are left with your deeds, and the way you treated people in this life, your interactions and relationships.
I’m making my triumphant return to blogging.
(Do people still do this anymore?)
I give advice on marriage sometimes. Unmarried folks come to me and ask me what to expect, or they tell me about their troubles, their broken engagements, etc. I try to make them feel better – try to explain that after you are married, it seems less important that you marry that *one* person who you were set upon before. I tell them that its a passing feeling and that *the one* most always becomes *the anyone*. I say it with a straight face and then reflect on my marriage and my life and happiness (praise the Lawd), and think maybe I should be more truthful with people.
About seven years ago is when I first laid out my master grand plan to my parents about marrying my future (current) wife. Basically, the plan involved getting married and not much else. My mother was rather angry at this brash unsolicited move of mine (as *if* I was an independent adult!) and was dead set against it. My father on the other hand was more disappointed than anything else but I wasn’t entirely sure why. He felt he had raised his children to be open and comfortable enough with him to share anything, even such irrational notions as marrying a non pakistani, and that he would be able to deal with and hopefully dissuade us rationally. The idea was, I suppose, to be a different type of father than he had experienced growing up. He wanted to be someone his children trusted and consulted when they became adults. His anectodes of our grandfather inspired more fear than awe and respect in my siblings and I, and he didn’t want that for himself.
However, even with that motivation in mind, he failed to “connect” with us in the way that he desired, evidenced by my brazenly independent act of subterfuge. There was clearly some sort of disconnect between my father and myself, but what was it and how could it be fixed? He thought he could talk to me and talk me out of my master plan, but it doesn’t work like that with our children.
I am almost absolutely sure that at some point in my life I will be dealing with many such situations. To think otherwise would be foolish.
The thought that somehow i’ll have a deeeper connection with and better understanding of my children prompted this memory of my father’s perceieved lack of connection. Will it really be any better with my son? I am sure no matter how open my thoughts are there is a whole range of things I cannot relate to or even remotely understand. No matter how much of a connection I try to create, there is no contract between generations and I must accept that. If I try too hard I will have created an illusory depth to our relationship and will set myself up for the same disappointment my father experienced. If I try to little, ill end up where my grandfather was at.
So what is there to do other than prepare for the inevitable?
This is a fascinating article. Up to the half-way mark, I was infuriated because I assumed the author was suggesting it was wrong to try KSM in a regular ole court of law, because as far as I am concerned there is no question about it. We are a country based on the rule of law, and that rule of law applies to everyone, whatever the crime is.
Then the author actually got to his point, which is that when the Judge decides to deny all the motions that the defense will try to bring, when the Judge admits testimony that was the fruit of torture, but not obtained in torture itself, etc, that criminal procedure will be further eroded for everyone. Torture may be on the table as a valid means of obtaining evidence or admissions, for everyone – so all you regular crims out there should get ready to get your teeth pulled and nails yanked. Even all of you non-crims who get arrested. Especially Muslims who may be associated, however remotely, with terrorism.
As far as I can tell there really is no alternative to trying him in a regular civil court apart from declaring openly that there is no chance in hell that KSM will get a fair trial and that the trial is basically a circus. This legal theater shall proceed. And it is legal theater, lest anyone mistake it for anything else.
It’s not about rule of law or anything so theoretically moving. The Obama administration has decided who to try in criminal court and who to try in military tribunals – lets fry the big fish in the public eye and everyone else on the sly. The symbolism however will rouse a lot of emotions on both sides of America and that’s what this is really about.
We are in the post-constitutional era of the United States and stunts like this trial will do nothing to convince mindful folks otherwise.
I may have joined a tariqa long ago, if it weren’t for my fear of falling into hypocrisy. I have long since been drawn towards the inward purification of sufism that I find lacking in most “Islam’s” in America, and the only Islam that really appealed to me was the one presented by sufis. Engaging in internal criticism is the truest manifestation of belief in a creator as it forces one to deal with their own ego and it’s desires, as opposed to focusing on the deeds and behavior of others.
However, I am and always was hesitant in joining a tariqa because I knew I would not be able to do what would be demanded of me, however when in a Tariqa (in many that I am familiar with) a facade must be maintained wherein you look, act and dress the part, no matter how rotten you are on the inside. This may be by design, but I am not sure I can live with that. In the end, it’s always a thought lurking in the back of my mind, but I can never reconcile it with my lifestyle.
I hate generalizations. I retract the last post, but won’t delete it for the sake of posterity.
The only muslims from the subcontinent that get respect from Arabs are afghanis. I won’t go into why they respect them. Also, I wont go into what that implies in terms of their over-masculinization of certain traits in themselves.
Women, their behavior, and their mind are a complete and utter mystery to me. I think even despite knowing hundreds upon hundreds of them, my mind will continue to be baffled by their inner workings. If any of you womens out there have insight into this highly mysterious topic, please submit a one sentence essay to me, not to exceed 1400 words, in the form of a comment to this post.
An excerpt from a fox news story: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,541205,00.html
Dr. Phyllis Chesler, an author and professor of psychology at the Richmond College of the City University of New York, said she believes Bary will be in danger if she is sent back to her parents.
“Anyone who converts from Islam is considered an apostate, and apostasy is a capital crime,” Chesler wrote FOXNews.com. “If she is returned to her family, if she is lucky, they will isolate her, beat her, threaten her, and if she is not ‘persuaded’ to return to Islam, they will kill her. They have no choice.”
I like the part where some random know-nothing proclaims what Muslims MUST do, because they have no choice in the matter. If you read the rest of the article, you’ll also notice that the daughter insists that her parents are required to kill her by the Qur’an.